Home, as I knew it, began in a hotel that my parents owned in North Wales. Comfortable surroundings, adventure zones and a staff team that became family.
At the age of 7 life changed. The rug was pulled from beneath me as my parents battled a nasty break up in court. Home then became a different country, a shared room with my brother at my grandparents. As a highly sensitive and empathetic person, a trait I’ve long been teased for, this uproot cut me deeply.
Later, this sensitivity, and a lack of understanding around carrying other people’s energy, combined with severe Endometriosis – a condition where tissue that behaves like the lining of the womb is found in other parts of the body – led to acute anxiety. For years I suffered with crippling pelvic pain, fainting episodes, weeks in bed, constant low immunity. Every month I would experience what felt like a sledge hammer to my lower abdomen and each time western medicine would dismiss it as ‘just a bad period’. Ten years later and I was finally diagnosed with Endometriosis.
Growing up I always felt uneasy, even though I was home, I never felt at home. At exam times I was a mess. But that’s where my first experience of Reiki came in. The panic that washed over me was eased by my mum who at bedtime would give me a Reiki treatment easing my nerves and allowing me to function.
At the age of 18 I moved to London for university full of creativity, passion and a drive to make a difference. This was a deep intention often sidelined by fear. As the anxiety and pain grew, it swirled into one big black hole. One day all of a sudden, I felt a strong calling to complete my Reiki Level 1. For months afterwards my symptoms improved, I felt a new sense of life awakened within me. However, I quickly became complacent. My symptoms had almost disappeared and soon my Reiki practice did too.
At the age 19, my life became full of dread, fear, anxiety and a coping mechanism that had run dry. I was struggling to attend lectures, social events, and didn’t even feel comfortable going to the corner shop to buy some milk. I couldn’t understand what was going on. I dropped out of university and escaped back to my Mum. For 6 months, I couldn’t leave the house without panic. I felt completely alone, even in my own home. I felt suffocated and trapped in my own mind.
The depth of each moment was a downward spiral of pressure resting on the belief I needed to overcome this alone. The burden of this energy was draining. I thought support was a weakness. Only now do I realise that it’s a weakness not to ask for support. I was completely exhausted, my zest for life had left. Instead of listening for signs along the way, I became overwhelmed, frustrated until I was no longer able to live with ease. This was not the life I had envisioned for myself.
I would often ask “Why me?” and throw myself a big pity party. Until one day, Reiki came back into my consciousness. I began treating myself again. A calmness washed over me, and a gift appeared; yoga. Calling upon the Reiki energy opened a pathway to other healing modalities, communities and connections that would eventually change my life.
During my mid 20s, my yoga practise built and I continued to practice Reiki on and off for the Endometriosis. I was working in the corporate world, and life was taking it’s toll. I had two operations to help manage my health condition that I battled alone with in London, miles away from family and ‘home’. The second one involved draining cysts on each ovary the size of tennis balls. I woke up from surgery to hear that the Endometriosis had spread so vigorously across other organs they weren’t able to remove it without risking the health of those organs. The biggest news was the damage adhesions were causing to my bowel; a key source of my constant pain which doctors were eager to operate on. Given the stress the operation placed on my body, this wasn’t something I was ready to repeat.
Then, I had one of my biggest flare-ups. I was rushed to A&E and spent a couple of days in hospital. Doctors, and second opinions, echoed the importance of further operations, especially operating on my bowel; a decision where I had to consider the possibility of a colostomy bag for life.
Once again I realised that I’d been ignoring my relationship with Reiki when I needed it most. In this difficult time I called in the energy and had a strong knowing that the operations weren’t right for me.
Now my relationship with Reiki is non-negotiable. I wake up each morning and the first thing I do is sit with the Reiki energy for healing and guidance. Sometimes its 5 minutes, other times it’s an hour. Self-healing has been my greatest saviour. I’m able to live life the way I had envisioned. I’ve been able to quit my stressful corporate role and launch my own business.
I’ve begun a career full of passion and fulfillment, combining yoga and healing, and I thank Reiki for guiding me to my true path. When I meet clients who are relatively new to alternative modes of healing they often ask how many sessions they will need. I think healing work is just like cleaning our home. We start in one corner and make our way through until it’s fresh and tidy. Over time, it gets messy and dirty again so we repeat the process all over again. And this becomes a natural cycle that we don’t even question.
Healing work is similar: We attract new and old experiences. Certain people trigger us. Life happens. We can chose to regularly clean our home, or we can leave it to get so messy and dirty that a lot of time and effort needs to be put in. This has been one of my biggest lessons.
Last year I tuned into Reiki to guide me to a Yin Yoga teacher-training that was aligned with my path. When I spoke with the teacher about Endometriosis, she planted a powerful seed of inquiry: “They are cells living outside of their home. Does that resonate with you?” It couldn’t have resonated any stronger. It was as if someone had just put a key into a padlock and unleashed a treasure chest full of ‘ah-has’. I’d always been searching for home, and I still was.
Not so long after this revelation I began my Reiki masters training. Before my first attunement I took a moment to centre myself and ground with nature. I stood right in front of a beautiful shell. As I picked it up I realised there was a little snail inside. This beautiful shell was its home. And that’s when I realised: I am my home. After all this time, my Reiki journey was guiding me back home to myself.
As featured in The Reiki Association Magazine ‘Touch’
Reiki – a way back home to the true YOU!
How can Reiki help you?
Reiki encourages the free flow of energy within your body helping you to re-discover your inner rhythm – your flow state – where everything unfolds effortlessly It intuitively activates your body’s innate healing abilities to process and clear stagnant energy blocks and patterns that may be preventing you from moving forwards. Reiki energy flows to wherever it is needed within your body to restore harmony. On a physical level it can be used to repair damaged cells, support fertility, build immunity, create more harmonious communication between different parts of the body, or release toxins. On a mental or emotional level it can be used to promote relaxation and calmness supporting you in reducing feelings of stress and anxiety, as well as encouraging natural sleep.
If you’re interested in finding out more about Reiki or would like to book a session, you can email me over at: email@example.com
Sessions: 60 mins / £65.00